


Gotham City

by JesterMonkey



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6019909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesterMonkey/pseuds/JesterMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Batman never came to be? Without Batman, there would be no Joker. No Joker- No Harley. Without Batman, would there still be a Catwoman? In a different universe, Tom and Martha Wayne were never killed in that alley.</p><p>Bruce got to live a happy life- without putting on the cape and cowl. He even got the girl of his dreams...but she has secrets of her own.</p><p>Without Batman, the Joker would never be. Though, he would have climbed up the criminal ranks as The Red Hood; the poker-loving playboy who's always up for a few laughs and a few kills every now and then.</p><p>Without the Joker, Harley would never be. Instead, her career in Arkham would start off rather smoothly which would lead to a long and fruitful career as psychiatrist.</p><p>But things can't always be sunshine and rainbows in Gotham, simply because they never were.  The Red Hood gang wants to stir up some trouble in Gotham and Arkham with the help of an insider and Bruce Wayne needs to juggle his father's company and his relationship with Selina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotham City

**Author's Note:**

> This is a trial sort of thing. I've had this idea for a short time and I wanted to write it down. I might continue writing this if people seem into it and I like where it's going. It's more of an idea for a comic book but you've got to start somewhere, right?
> 
> Enjoy!

Walking into the gates of Arkham always seemed like a chore to me. It was bad enough that the uniform demanded that all women wear high-heeled shoes but the path up to the Asylum was always unkempt and dark. Why was it always dark here? It's not like there was anything dangerous or pure evil at Arkham. Just a few people who's minds had been lead astray. And that's what I'm here to fix.

I didn't need to sleep my way through college. I could have gotten all of the good grades by myself if I really tried. It didn't really matter what I did; they'd still think I was cheating. So I used my body and my brains to bump up what could have been a high B to a mid A. That's all I could have asked for. I needed this job. Gymnastics was one thing; more of a hobby, really. But digging into the minds of these people and finding out what went wrong so I could try everything I could to help them.

Finally I reached the doors of Arkham Asylum. My shoes were drenched in wet soil which was a strange grey color, stark contrast to my red shoes.

I walked down the halls of Arkham, quietly noting the screams of my patients and reached my office. A colleague charged out of my office and slammed themselves against the door.

"Harleen!" They screamed at me. "You do not want to go in there! I almost had a heart attack."

"Move." I said bluntly, shoving them aside. "I've dealt with serial killers, this should be fine."

I sighed, opening the door and barging into my office. The sigh quickly turned into a gasp. There in my comfy leather seat was Mr Bruce Wayne himself. There he was in his chiselled and handsome glory. He was the most attractive and sexiest man in all of Gotham and yet he was taken. The Wayne family always had mystery, intrigue and enough money to build a house entirely from hundred dollar bills.

“Miss Quinzel?” Mr Wayne began. “I’d like to speak with you for a moment.”

“It’s Doctor Quinzel.” I said with a low voice. “Ya don’t go to University for a fraction of your life to be called ‘Miss’ afterwards.”

“Right.” Mr Wayne said apologetically, getting off my seat. “I’m sorry if I offended you, Doctor Quinzel.”

I smiled softly at him, taking a seat. It was still warm. “You didn’t Mister Wayne.”

“Mister Wayne is my father. Please, call me Bruce.” He replied sitting opposite me, on the other side of my desk. It was a little embarrassing having my toys and trinkets out in plain view for someone like him to see and judge me harshly.

“Okay…Bruce. What did you want to talk about?” I said, folding my arms together. “I’m assuming your here on business…not pleasure.”

“It’s always a pleasure.” Bruce said with a smile. “No, I’m really here to talk about the asylum. I’ve asked around and most people who work here think that Arkham could use some more funding; funding I can provide. Do you feel the same way?”

I smiled softly and looked around my office. I resided in one of the nicer offices in the asylum. There were a few cracks in the walls and a tiny piece of glass missing from my window in my office. But it was nice enough to work in every day. I almost felt sorry for those who had leaky pipes drip down onto their work.

I sighed happily as I stared at the thin spider in the corner of the room behind him. “I honestly think it adds character to the place. Some money to help funds extra goods and services to the patients would be nice though. For example, the laundry makes the clothes dirtier after they come out of the washer. We should really crack down on that mould problem.” I looked to Mister Wayne and smiled softly. 

“I get the feeling you actually like this job, Doctor Quinzel.” Bruce said softly.

“Well it pays pretty well.” I grinned. “Not as much as being born wealthy…But enough to get by.”

“Do you have a problem with me?” Bruce said, cocking a brow. “If anything about me or my family bothers you, please let me know.”

“I just get the feeling you wouldn’t spend that money on those who really need it most.” I said leaning forward, resting my elbows on the desk. “Believe it or not, Mister Wayne, but those people in those cells were once ordinary people like you an’ me. The only thing that’s changed is their perception of the world around ‘em. I don’t care if radioactive junk pours onto me while I work and turns my skin as pale as paper, Mister Wayne. I put my patients first. So should everyone else here. If you’re gonna spend any of your money on this dump; you have to promise me you’ll spend at the benefit of these people. Ya hear me?”

Bruce smiled softly and nodded his head. “Noble…Insane…But noble.” Bruce stood and adjusted his suit. He gently shook my hand. “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll be sure to remember that. Really. You’ve been a great deal of help.”

“Just remember.” I crossed my legs with a soft chuckle. “If you break that promise, I’ll break you Bruce-y.”

He turned and gave me a dashing smile before leaving my office. 

It was almost a shame to see him leave, but watching him go was just too fun.

~~~~~

Wayne Manor. Nothing could be more perfect for a cat like me. It’s everything I ever wanted in life. 

Money. A nice house. Diamonds. A sexy boy-toy who loves me. I’ve been spoilt rotten by this family. When Bruce and I first met, I knew it had to be. We fit together so well. We were almost the same but somewhat different.

We were both desired objects. Had a fine eye for the beautiful objects in the world. And we loved each other truly, madly and deeply. 

He doesn’t know about my past or my present. I don’t even think he cares. I used to steal stuff from people who didn’t even deserve the things they had. It was good. The night I stopped was the night I broke into Wayne Manor.

I somehow found my way into Bruce’s bedroom. I don’t remember how long ago it was but there was something hauntingly beautiful about Bruce. He looked like a tragically sweet character, without the tragedy. He was magnificent.

I saw him again at his father’s birthday party. Everyone in Gotham was invited, even me, some klepto-broad who just couldn’t pick a damn side. Live a normal life or steal diamonds forever. I was going to raid Mrs Wayne’s jewellery collection when Bruce asked me to dance. I stayed at that party all night.  
All night.

From then, I chose to lean closer to whatever side Bruce was on. Though, I stole mostly for good after that. I was still stealing but at least I gave it back to whoever owned it before. I’m the Robin Hood of Gotham, instead of green tights I wear tight leather.

Bruce would want to eventually settle down and raise a family and grow a company. Part of me wants to go through with it because I would never have to steal anything ever again.  
But the little minx who lurks inside of me wants to wait a little while longer because something fun might happen soon.

~~~~~

“Man, Arkham went to shit, didn’t it boss?” Johnny said, lighting a cigarette. “Do people still live in this joint?”

I faced him with a smile. “Yup.”

“Poor bastards.” Johnny chuckled through a cloud of smoke.

The smoke singes my eyes and pulls at my lungs. I avoid coughing all over him by covering my mouth. I use my hands to hide my cold glare from him. I’d shove it down his throat if he weren’t so good to me.

I try not to think of my early days in crime. Once, I was some dopey wannabe comedian who got dragged into committing a crime because he desperate. I still have that stupid red bucket back a home. I use it as a garbage can. Now, I’m a crime boss, clawing my way up through the ranks until I was The Red Hood, leader of the gang named after me. It almost sounds like a joke.

‘So some jack-ass with a red bucket on his head walks into a bar…’

“What’re we even doin’ ‘ere, boss?” Johnny groaned, blowing more smoke into the car. “This place looks like shit.”

“Well, Johnny-Johnny.” I said smiling through the pain in my eyes. “Don’t you think it’s about time we let the poor suckers out of their cage?”

“Well, yeah…But why?” Johnny grunted.

I shrugged. “Shits and giggles.”

~~~~~

Alfred had always been so good to me. Ever since I was a young boy, he was like a second father to me. Whenever mother and father had been away, Alfred was always there for me. Without him during those lonely moments as a kid; I’d probably have gone insane.

Surely he’d know what to do. 

I gently pulled out the small, velvet box out of my pocket. “Hey, Alfred, I-”

“No, Master Bruce. You shouldn’t propose to Miss Kyle.” Alfred said bluntly, behind the wheel.

“I…I…” I sputtered. “How did you know about that?”

“I noticed that you started pacing about your bedroom, Master Bruce.” Alfred sighed. “You were preparing a speech. You don’t like speeches, Master Bruce. And besides, you’re at that point in your relationship with Miss Kyle that you would want to think about proposing to her.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” I sighed, shoving the box back into my pocket. “Huh? Why not, Alfred?”

“You know absolutely nothing about her.” Alfred replied with a harsh tone in his voice. 

“Yes I do.”

“Oh really?” Alfred chuckled. “What’s her middle name?”

“She doesn’t have one!” I snapped at him.

Alfred nodded. “And how sure are you about that, Master Bruce?”

My shoulders sank and I let out a sigh. “So she likes to have her secrets. I won’t pry.”

“Do you know if she really and truly cares about you?” Alfred asked softly.

I paused. “No. I didn’t think…Do you really need to ask that kind of stuff to women?”

Alfred tried to smile. “Well, when you are sure, perhaps then you should ask her to marry you.”

I leaned my head back against the seat. “I guess you’re right.”

~~~~~

There was a loud commotion coming from the administration. Everyone came down to see what the fuss was about. As did I.

Although I couldn’t really see, some strange man burst into the asylum and didn’t have a valid reason for being here. It was suspicious to say the very least.

“Look, why aren’t I allowed in?” The man demanded. “I just wanna see my Aunt is all!”

“Yes, sir, but you haven’t told me who your Aunt is.” The receptionist sighed. “If you could just tell us who she is then we can let you in.”

“She doesn’t even remember her own God forsaken name and you expect me to know it!?” He shouted.

“Yes…She is your Aunt after all.”

I pushed my way through the crowd to see the stranger. And boy, was it worth it. Talk about a dream boat. Aside from Bruce Wayne, he was the most good-looking man I’d seen all day. He just looked good. Clean shaven. Hair playfully greased to the side. Nice suit with a red waist coat. But something about him struck me as odd. Like I’d seen him or heard something about him before.

Then again, a man dressed as smartly as he was, was bound to look like a clown when surrounded by white coats.

I sighed. “He’s supposed to be with me.”

The man faced me with a wide-eyed smile. A soft smile crept onto his face as the crowd shuffled around him. He walked towards me.

“Thanks, Doctor.” He said softly. “These people have no respect for family values, huh?”

I rolled my eyes and took him away to my office. I didn’t know exactly who he was but I was on the right track. I had a tight grasp of his arm as I took him down the halls of endless screaming. He didn’t seem too bothered by the situation; he almost seemed amused by it.

Opening the door to my office, I threw him inside. He took a seat and spun in the revolving chair three times while chuckling.

I leaned against the door with folded arms.

“Who are you?” I asked bluntly.

He held out his hand, still spinning in the chair. “Kerr. Joe Kerr. And who are you?”

“That’s a funny name you’ve got there, Mister Kerr.” I sighed.

“You aren’t one for jokes, are ya?” Joe leaned forward and snatched at my hand, shaking it roughly. “Me? I’m a real…Joker.”

I rubbed my eyes under my glasses. “Good lord, help me.”

“Oh, he can’t help you now.” Joe snickered. “Who are you, Miss?”

“Doctor Quinzel.” I sighed.

“Doctor…Such a pretty name.” Joe rested his head against his fist.  
I closed my eyes. It was like I was talking to an actual patient. Maybe I should admit him into the asylum? Honestly, he’d fit right in.

“It’s Harleen. Doctor Harleen Quinzel.” I sighed. “Okay?”

He waved his finger from side to side and grinned slowly. “Huh…Harley…Quinn. Harlequin. I like it.”

“It’s Harleen Quinzel. Doctor Quinzel to you.” I groaned.

He leapt from the seat and pinned me up against the door, panic in my eyes and blood-lust in his. I tried to throw him off of me but he much stronger than I was. Who knew? He was so lanky.

The red flags were there the whole time. I just kept teasing.

“Shhhh! Keep quiet, Doc.” He whispered. “Why’d you take me into this office, huh? Are you asking for it? Are you asking to be killed?”

I started to shake violently. “I know who you are…Or at least the gang you’re a part of.”

“Oh?” He said softly, lifting up my chin. “Go on.”

“It’s the Red Hood Gang, right? Some of my patients used to be from that gang. They’d talk about Red Hood a lot in our sessions.” I could feel Joe’s breath on my neck. “They said he was the cruellest man when he was angry. Any other time, though, he was alright.”

Joe smiled at me. “That he is. That he is. And you’re right. You’re a very smart woman, aren’t you?” He unpinned me and took a step back. He looked me over, almost browsing me. He sighed and tilted his head. “I need your help, Doc. Can we do some weird therapy sessions some time?”

I nodded. Mostly out of fear of him killing me if I said no. But part of me wanted to get inside that pretty little head of his.

~~~~~

The walk back out of the asylum was awkward as hell; I just couldn’t stop smiling. The doctor’s presence was still there with me even after Johnny-Johnny’s cigarette smoke raided my senses. Maybe it was how her perfume lingered on my clothing or how her gentle warmth clung to my fingertips.

I stepped back into the car, Johnny at the wheel, carefully savouring his cigarette like it was the last one in existence.

“So…How’d it go?” Johnny croaked. “Got all you wanted, boss?”

A grin crept onto my face. “Not everything.”

“Whaddya mean by that?” Johnny frowned. “You were in there a while.”

I sighed, the thought of her crossing my mind. I was never like this with women. Like a baby, I’d see them and ‘greet’ them and once they'd left my eye-sight I completely forgot that they were even there. But this dame hung over me, almost like the cigarette smoke in the car. I even had a similar reaction to it but the clouded thoughts of her that lingered were far healthier for me than the cigarette smoke.

Any day.

A thought crossed my mind and I tried to hide my smile.

“Johnny-Johnny…Do you think that helping patients from Arkham escape will be easy?” I asked, sniffing.

“Where are you goin’ with this, boss?” Johnny said, stroking his fingers through his greasy, blond hair. “I don’t…”

“When I was in there a lovely dame took me on a very brief tour of the asylum.” I began. “It was only brief because she took me to her office, but I saw all I needed to see. I want her to help us.”

“Lovely?” Johnny cocked a brow. “She couldn’t have been that ‘lovely’, boss.”

“Oh, she was.” I sighed. “All the other women in there were…frumpy…but her, no, she was something special. I can tell. Why…She stuck out like a sore thumb, that one. Far too pretty for a job like that.”

“And you think she’s pretty enough to work a job like this?” Johnny groaned, starting the engine.

“What’s wrong, Johnny-Johnny?” I scoffed, facing him. “If you have something to say to me, feel free to say it.”

Johnny gulped loudly and ‘uhhed’.

“I thought so.” I grunted.

Johnny hesitantly looked to me. “Is there any other reason why you’d want her around, boss? Do you like her?”

“Hmm? Oh, really? ‘Do you like her?’ ” I chuckled. “How old are you, Johnny? Four?”

“I-I’m jus’ sayin’, boss!” Johnny cried out. “You just seem a bit cheery. It’s outta character for you.”

I rolled my eyes and looked out of the window. Girls like her are too smart to fall for guys like me. But there was something behind those cold and intimidating glasses; her pretty eyes staring back at me in horror.

There was a spark within me.

My mind couldn’t help but wonder if maybe we connected. Maybe in some other life her first impression of me was better than a ‘this guy is a weirdo’.  
It took me far too long to shake that thought.

Wait, ‘til she gets a load of me…

~~~~~

My jaw was slack and my heart began to race.

“What….What did you say father?” I gasped.

“Bruce. Pat attention to me.” Father sighed. “I want you to take over Wayne Industries. I think you’re ready. Well, are you?”

Maybe I was ready to take up the reigns and run my father’s empire. Maybe. But there was so much I wanted to do first.

Selina.

…

...

…

Selina

…

I sighed, reaching into my pocket and gently rubbing my thumb over the little box. My father looked up to me with tired-looking eyes. Would I become what he has become? Do I want that? Would Selina want that life? She’s always been a wild one.

How would she take this news?

I’ve always wanted something different, something far more exciting than living the billionaire life-style. A hundred trips to some third world country to ‘help out’ had nothing on being right in the middle of the action and actually saving lives, right?

I forced a smile and nodded to him. “Yes.” I said at last. “I’ll make you proud.

He gently patted my back as he walked away. “You already have.” He faced me with a bright smile. “How about we make it official - announce it- on your birthday, huh son?”

I nodded weakly at him.

~~~~~

Why did all of these ‘villain’ meetings have to take so damn long?

I was sweating in skin-tight leather and I had to be at some circus with Bruce in half an hour’s time. Apparently the acrobatics act was really good. Almost as good as mine was back in the day.

Ah, yes. Those were the days.

My past is just a blur. I don’t even remember it myself. It was probably for the best, though, I am one messed up kitty.

At last Red Hood appeared from somewhere behind a curtain. The Red Hood Gang used an abandoned comedy club as their hide-out. It was horrid and dark and full of sweaty, disgusting men. Men like these make me truly appreciate my current luxury.

Red Hood himself was pretty cute. He looked a lot like a little kid, though. Nothing like Bruce at all.

Did I mention how much I loved Bruce or was that not made clear enough? Oh well.

Behind Red Hood was that dumb-ass Johnny Frost. Red Hood liked to have him around for some reason. They were both pretty messed up people and Johnny did tend to idolise Red Hood. It was nice for a while but then it got draining for everyone. Even Red Hood himself.

He raised an arm. “How are we, fellas?” Red Hood smiled brightly. He spotted me in the crowd. “Look what the cat dragged in…Oh wait, that is the cat! Get up here!”

I rolled my eyes and made my way towards the stage. I probably shouldn’t have come.

I stood on stage and watched the crowd as Red Hood began to speak.

“So we all know the drill, right? What we want is our crew back, right? But see, they’ve been locked up in Arkham. We gotta set these little birdies free!”

Great, busting out insane people from where they belong. What else is new?

“Now, I could just leave them there and wait for them to flock to the nest at their own accord…But that just isn’t fun. What do ya say fellas? Should we bring our boys home? For shits and giggles?”

The crowd cheered. I clapped. It was noble at heart but poor in it’s execution.

Johnny stepped forward. “I have an idea.”

Red Hood smiled at his assistant. He gestured for him to continue.

“We’re a little low on cash, boys.” Johnny beamed. “How about, while the cops are busy with Arkham, we bust into Gotham’s banks and steal as much money as we can grab our grubby mitts on!”

The crowd screamed. That brought a smile to my face, this kid knew what he was talking about.

“When were you planning this, boys?” I asked in Catwoman’s sulty tone.

Red Hood grinned. “Nineteenth of February.”

My heart skipped a beat. Bruce…

“That’s…That’s Bruce Wayne’s birthday. There’s bound to be a party.”

Red Hood chuckled. “Excellent. We can go crash the birthday party of some spoilt brat, huh fellas!?”

The crowd cheered. They had a plan. Break patients out of Arkham, steal from banks and crash a party. And here I was, being dragged behind the cart. I couldn’t say no.

All I could do was hope Bruce would forgive me some day.

~~~~~

The only real downside to working at Arkham was the pay. It was good work but I just couldn’t afford a better apartment. I was stuck in the worst parts of Gotham. Anywhere that wasn’t some mansion was pretty awful but I was stuck living where all of the criminals hang out.

Every street should be renamed.

‘You will be mugged here Lane’

‘Shooting Gallery Road’

‘Rape Street’

‘Prostitute Way’

It was awful. At one point it was a pretty popular business district but then the Red Hood Gang came along.

At least I can write reports about criminal behaviour by just looking out of my window.

I had to change out of my uniform which essentially meant taking off the white coat. Now I was wearing a red blouse, a tight black skirt and heels; clothes which would guarantee that someone would want to kill me.

I was approaching my apartment building, I wasn’t five feet away from the door when two men blocked the way.

“How are ya, missy?” One said with a toothy grin.

The other had a hook for a hand. “It’s a bit late to be walking around by yourself, isn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes. For a split moment, I began planning all the different options I could choose. Kick and Run. Keep walking. Ignore them. Apologise and go home. Tell them the truth. Threaten them.

All the options didn’t seem to be favourable.

Their eyes widened as a figure loomed from behind me. The two men backed away and fled the scene. I took a deep breath and turned to ace behind me. I was expecting some tough, burly crime boss but I was pleasantly surprised.

“Joe?” I gasped. It couldn’t have been coincidence. “What’re you doing here?”

“I live around here.” He said with a smile. “How about yourself?”

“I live just there.” I said pointing to the nearby door.

He leaned to the side to look behind me. His expression was soft and kind of sweet. “That’s a nice place you’ve got there.”

“As compared to what?” I scoffed. “The asylum?”

“No. My place.” He said bluntly.

I took a step back from him. “Do you live at the…Red Hood Gang…joint?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Yes. Yes I do.”

“So…Why did those guys run away when you got here?” I asked, twiddling my thumbs.

Joe stepped closer to me. “I’m very prominent in the gang. Hence why I was at Arkham.”

“Really, now?” I sighed.

“Yeah…They uh…They sometimes send members to visit Arkham to see members who’re stuck in there.” Joe replied. “I got exactly what I needed.”

I folded my arms. “That didn’t seem to be your goal. At least from my perspective.”

He shrugged. “I’m sorry about that. Look, I panicked a little. I already had what I needed from the walk to your office. I just needed to get out. Fast.”

I nodded slowly. “Sure.”

“You’re first impression of me wasn’t so great, huh?” Joe scratched the back of his neck.

I nodded again. “Yup.”

He rubbed his cheek. “I meant it when I wanted…sessions with you. I’m part of the Red Hood Gang, right? I’m bound to be a poor, miserable and messed-up soul.”

I sighed and scanned his face. He didn’t appear to be lying, or he was a very good liar.

“Mister Kerr…Are you using me for your own personal gains.” I said coldly.

Joe expression froze, he looked genuinely offended by that statement. “I-I-I…Why I…I’d never do anything like that. Manipulating women is just immoral.”

“How about manipulating men?” I snickered. 

“That’s just called an order.” He said with a wink.

I wasn’t blushing. And I definitely didn’t invite him into my home so we could talk in a more comfortable environment.

And I totally wasn’t falling head over heels for this lunatic.

That’d be crazy. Mad, even.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT  
> \- I might write another chapter whenever I can. I'll add this to my queue.
> 
> \- There were a heap of errors before and I'm sorry for that. It was late at night and I was pushed for time so I published it while I could. I won't do that ever again.
> 
> -Comic book origin stories are weird and wonderful things. After writing this apparently a petty theif Selina Kyle was influenced by Batman to don the costume. However in other stories she's a dominatrix so I really couldn't care. Harley's is based off of Mad Love which is superior to the New 52 origin in every way. Joker's is based off of The Killing Joke. Just putting that out there for anyone who's lost.


End file.
